Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Kasma's latest offering is an excellent story called Nuclear Family which should be on everyone's holiday reading list.

And this bit of fruitcake also appeared 2 years ago on the Drabblecast forum:



by Anatoly Belilovsky

“I don’t care how nice it is,” said the Inspector. “It’s still a transgenic recombinant product. Frankenfood. I have to take it away to be incinerated.”

“But…” the farmer sputtered. “It’s so sweet! So…”

“Large,” the Inspector said. “It’s a single, five-hundred-pound strawberry. I’m sorry. You know the law.”

“I got friends!“ the farmer threatened. 

“I got a warrant,” said the Inspector.

The farmer sighed. “How can you do this to a beautiful fruit like this? Tell me – I’d really like to know what you think - ”

The Inspector shrugged. “I’ve come to seize your berry, not to praise it.”


Saturday, June 16, 2012

Wee bit o'Eng Lit Wit: Hope You Read... It.


by Anatoly Belilovsky

Dear Mr Jones:

In your midterm paper on MACBETH there were several answers with which I had a bit of a problem. First of all, Macbeth's initial answer to his wife's demands that he kill Duncan was not STFU. Secondly, WTF was not what Macbeth said when he saw Banquo's ghost. Thirdly, Macbeth did not ROTFLMAO when he found out that Macduff was “from his mother's womb untimely ripped.' However, the answers were not entirely wrong, and this is a Shakespeare class, so I decided to give you a grade of A. For brevity is the soul of wit...

Friday, June 15, 2012

Taking a walk on the dark side: the UFO anthology.

Oh no, not me! Writing buddy and all-around awesome guy Alex Shvartsman is putting together an anthology called UFO: Unidentified Funny Objects. His call is pretty much funny enough to be included in the anthology itself:


And in honor of that, a poem, by me, first posted on the Drabblecast forums:

To His Coy Mistress

by Anatoly Belilovsky

An alien invasion won't make me run or scream,
I'll be the first to welcome them, of this I often dream.

I'll happily assist them when they fall from the sky,
Requiring the smartest men, such, for example, as I.

To run this world, after it's been destroyed and built anew,
I will need someone beautiful, such, for example, as you.

You'll only think of musclemen while reading “To Serve Man”,
You'll save your admiration for my long attention span,

Together we will travel the world while righting every wrong.
Oh aliens, dear aliens, what's taking you so long?

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Cat in the Hat Howls

With apologies to Dr Seuss and Alan Ginsburg, we somewhat-less-than-proudly present the first in the "Not ready for the prose" series of occasionally poetic interludes. This one is a little dark.

So, without further ado:

Cat in the Hat Howls (first posted on the Drabblecast forum:)

The sun did not shine, it was cold, and the rain
Bashed open our skulls and ate up our brains!
I sat there with Sally, screaming under the stairways,
When who do you think shoved his %*#$ in my face?
Moloch! Solitude! Filth! It was Cat in the Hat!
With a yellow paper rose twisted on a barrette!
"Don't cower unshaven looking at me like that,
My tricks are not bad," said the Cat in the Hat.
"Why, we can have loads of good fun and frolic
With a hip game we can play called "'Waking Nightmares of an Alcoholic'!"

I like dark. It's perfect for hiding a banana peel.